Your Understanding is Not Always Required

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In a recent text exchange with a dear friend, she expressed dismay with herself for not doing many things she thought she would be doing right about now. Some of those things were “shoulds” and some of them were things she genuinely wanted to do. (Or perhaps more accurately, she wanted to want to do them.) She didn’t understand why this was happening and felt uncomfortable about it.

She wasn’t surprised when I reminded her that her discomfort wasn’t caused by the not-doing, but by her judgment of herself for not doing those things, and for not understanding why she wasn’t doing them.

Through my interactions with clients over the years, and on my own personal journey, I’ve seen that self-judgment is at the core of most of our emotional pain. Those of us on a journey of awakening, who have intentionally sought to free ourselves from our false and limiting beliefs, often feel frustrated when we can’t figure ourselves out. Yet the perceived need to figure ourselves almost always comes from the false premise that there is something wrong with us that needs to be fixed or corrected. Which, of course, is a form of self-judgment.

Having recognized that, I now call upon a simple anchor statement to pull me out of such swirls of frustration, if I find myself caught in one. It’s a mantra I initially created to help me release judgment of others whose beliefs or behaviors confused or alarmed me. Here it is:

My understanding is not required. Only my Love is required.

This simple reminder has been, for me, immensely liberating. Behind it is the understanding that our minds have been strongly conditioned in the habit of judging ourselves as lacking in some way, and more generally in judging right from wrong. The perceived need to judge reveals our fear of something bad happening, if we don’t get things right. And I’m no longer willing to make choices or draw conclusions from fear-based thinking.

Opening our hearts and offering kindness and compassion to ourselves and others elevates us immediately from separation consciousness to unity consciousness. As we slow down our frantic figuring, breathe fully and deeply, and rest our awareness in our hearts, we create space for our inner wisdom to reveal itself to us. True clarity and understanding arise from peace, not from worry.

In a situation such as my friend was in, the opportunity is one of greater Self-awareness and Self-knowing, as well as an appreciation of the extraordinary times we’re in. The thought patterns and behaviors and expectations we’ve held as a collective for decades are rapidly dissolving, as more and more of us wake up to a deeper truth of who we really are as beloved expressions of Source.

During these times of intense change, we will find ourselves in the unknown time and again, and this is a very good thing. Fresh and expansive desires, ideas and inspirations can only arise from the unknown, not from the known. When we find ourselves feeling adrift, we can choose to bring not only kindness and compassion to ourselves – and maybe a bit of humor! – but simple curiosity. We can relish the opportunity to be nourished by the practice of stilling our minds and resting in our hearts.

And without forcing answers, we can gently and lovingly ask ourselves questions. How would I love my life to look and feel now? Is it possible that what I thought I wanted to do isn’t really what I want to do? What would bring me joy right now? How might I love myself through this sacred time?

If you’re familiar with the phases of the Life Pulse, these times reflect the contraction or concentration phase – a turning inward for deeper Self-connection, through which we open to our own wisdom and guidance. This phase naturally leads to the peace of inner stasis, where we rest comfortably in the womb of all creation – the field of infinite possibilities – and allow the impulse of Life, itself, to reveal itself to us. It is not a time to be rushed, and most certainly not to be judged. This phase is essential to who we are as gloriously creative beings.

And so, if you find yourself frustrated because you don’t understand something about yourself or others, let that frustration be a call from your heart to turn inward, lovingly. Remind yourself that your understanding, in that moment, is not required. Only your Love is required. Comfort yourself, lighten up as best you can, and trust that whatever you would benefit from understanding will surface in your awareness when you are relaxed, open and at peace.

Remember always that you are right where you’re meant to be, you are dearly loved, and you are whole and complete just as you are – yet ever expanding into more.

 

Suzanne E. Eder

Copyright © 2025

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2 Comments

  1. Boo on January 31, 2025 at 4:08 pm

    I love that you chose to write about this mantra. Ever since you created it, we have used it SO many times in our conversations! It truly is the perfect accompaniment to those pesky thoughts about not understanding something or someone and allows us to let go of any need to understand or figure it out. It is a freedom creator, one that moves us beyond the confusing experience or situation and back to peace.

    • Suzanne Eder on February 2, 2025 at 2:07 pm

      I love that you love that I chose wo write about it! Thank you so much for this wonderfully clear and affirming comment about how helpful the mantra is. It’s beautifully written, straight from the heart.

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