Make a Vow

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I recently led a new six-week pilot class in which we explored different facets of the manifestation process and how they can be cultivated to experience greater abundance – of all forms – in our lives.

One of the facets we delved into was the balancing of our masculine and feminine energies, with the deeper understanding that masculine and feminine energies are not opposites – they are not meant to oppose each other. They are two complementary aspects of a seamless whole. That exploration yielded quite a few “aha!” moments for many of us.

A deepened insight that emerged for me was this: many people have been walking a spiritual path that isn’t serving them. And when their spiritual path doesn’t serve them, they can’t experience the deep level of fulfillment they long for.

What I’m referring to is the tremendous focus, in many spiritual teachings, on the need to transcend ego. Given that most of humanity has been living in a patriarchal society for thousands of years, it makes sense that spiritual teachings were addressed primarily to men. In a patriarchal society that not only separates the feminine from the masculine but also devalues it, male spiritual aspirants would likely have an imbalance of masculine and feminine energies within them. Spiritual teachings guided them to rein in or transcend their masculine energy, which was overused in its separation from the feminine.

Healthy masculine energy is, among countless other exquisite attributes, assertive. It is also the aspect of our consciousness that has a clear sense of the value and worth of the individuated self. Healthy feminine energy is, among countless other exquisite attributes, receptive. It is also the aspect of our consciousness that has a clear sense of our connectedness, our Oneness.

They are two distinct aspects of a healthy and whole spiritual consciousness, which is the level of consciousness that embraces the paradox of our co-existing individuality andOneness. Both feminine and masculine energies need to be present for a harmonious balance of self-respect and compassion, as well as countless other harmonious attributes.

Masculine energy, without the balancing support of feminine energy, becomes unhealthy. The unchecked assertiveness of what the individual wants and needs morphs from taking what is rightfully ours to over-taking. It becomes what we witness as greed and stealing and coveting and killing. (Several of the Ten Commandments address those very tendencies.) The healthy masculine sense of self-worth can also morph into what we see as egotistical self-importance without the necessary balance of feminine energy.

Spiritual masters, teachers and gurus have, for millennia, understood that feminine qualities such as compassion, humility and generosity need to be cultivated into full balance with the masculine qualities of assertiveness and self-respect. And so the teachings have been oriented to foster that. But how do those teachings affect people who already have highly developed feminine energy, especially those who have not fully developed their masculine energy?

I’ve seen the answer to that myself, time and again, in working with clients who come to me with a deep longing to create a more fulfilling life, yet do not consider themselves worthy of it. Or they have such an ingrained habit of putting everyone else first that they’ve left themselves with no time or energy to cultivate their dreams. They ignore their longings and their inner guidance because they believe they would be selfish to pursue them.

They are amazing, gifted and loving people, mostly women, who aspire to live a fulfilling and spiritually conscious life. But they’re trying really hard to transcend an ego they don’t even have.

And that’s because feminine energy, without the balancing support of masculine energy, becomes unhealthy, too. Unbalanced receptivity morphs from a healthy acceptance of the full range of human experience and inspired ideas into an unhealthy allowing of others to walk all over them, or an unhealthy allowing of their own self-judging thoughts to dominate their consciousness. And without the healthy masculine sense of self, the feminine compassion for others morphs into negating their own needs, which then morphs into a feeling of unworthiness.

As I reflected deeply on this several weeks ago, I felt inspired to craft a brief set of principles for energetically sensitive people who have highly developed feminine energy but have not fully understood the need to further develop their masculine energy, with its clear sense of self. I initially started thinking in terms of the Ten Commandments for women, or for all highly sensitive people, but wanted something that felt more loving and sacred. So the principles evolved into vows, and I’d like to share them with you now.

The Seven Vows

  1. I fully acknowledge and embrace my worthiness to live a deeply fulfilled life.
  2. I accept only those thoughts about myself that are kind, supportive and helpful, and I firmly disallow thoughts about myself that are damaging, diminishing or doubting.
  3. I extend the fullness of my caring and compassion to myself.
  4. I dedicate myself to the ongoing discernment of my true inner guidance.
  5. I honor my true inner guidance and act on it with loving conviction.
  6. I understand that in honoring my true inner guidance I am serving the highest good for all concerned, because true inner guidance arises from our Oneness.
  7. I stand in the center of my life with an open heart, saying Yes when I need to say Yes and No when I need to say No.

I could have written many more such vows, but these flowed from me quickly and easily and, after reviewing them, I felt they provided an essential starting point. They arise from the work I’ve done with clients to help them shift the commonly held misperceptions that arise when a healthy sense of self is not fully developed.

I would love for you to reflect deeply on them and consider the possibility of making these sacred vows to yourself, for yourself. You might also feel inspired to modify them or write your own, which would be tremendously empowering, or simply to consider your own balance of masculine and feminine energy and see what insights arise from that contemplation.

This is particularly illuminating when you consider an aspect of your life in which you haven’t yet created what you want. Might you benefit from bringing more of the under-expressed energy into your thoughts, choices and actions?

The energies don’t need to be “equal” – most of us naturally express one of them more than the other – but they need to be balanced and harmonious in a way that supports you fully. Remember, your masculine and feminine energies are not opposites of each other. They are distinct and complementary aspects of the amazing Whole that is you.

Vow to honor and express your amazing wholeness.

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